Seasons Change, and Tulips Bloom

I am often amazed—but rarely surprised—by how God shows up in my life. My upbringing in faith taught me that God can do exceedingly and abundantly more than I could ever imagine. Over the years, I have experienced countless testimonies of His grace, mercy, and love.

However, in the late 2000s and early 2010s, life became especially difficult. I thought I knew what I wanted out of life, but my approach to achieving it wasn’t working. By 2009, I was a young mother, a live-in girlfriend, and a college “sit-outer,” teetering on the edge of becoming a dropout. Not finishing school weighed heavily on me, but my child and family were my top priorities—it was what it was.

Still, I held onto my faith, though it often felt more like a routine than a relationship. Church was a non-negotiable every Sunday, but I often went alone. Looking back, my attendance felt more ritualistic than relational. I knew of God, His goodness, and His love for His children, but my relationship with Him was shallow. While I was grounded in my faith foundation—built by my village—there was a longing for something more personal, something deeper.

Reflecting on this journey, I am reminded of Philippians 4:6-7: "Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus."

I didn’t fully understand it at the time, but God was guiding me, even in my darkest moments.

Despite having more than enough—a reliable car, a nice apartment, a decent job—I fixated on my perceived lack, unaware that I could have used my surplus to springboard into my destiny. Instead, I found myself digging deeper into a hole of dissatisfaction.

I prayed constantly, yet I often felt like God wasn’t listening. Little did I know, He was not only listening but also responding. The problem was I wasn’t listening to Him. My worries about appearances drowned out my pursuit of inner peace and happiness. The facade I maintained was easier than confronting the challenge and fear of the unknown. God, however, knew the desires of my heart and carried me through one of the darkest yet most pivotal seasons of my life.

A Dark Season and a Hidden Blessing

By 2010, the bottom had fallen out. I had officially dropped out of college for the second time. My attempts to buy a home with my boyfriend failed multiple times, and eventually, our relationship ended. It was a painful chapter, but in hindsight, I see it was a disguised blessing.

Now single, I was determined to become a homeowner despite having only half the buying power and supplementing my income with credit cards—a strategy that worsened my financial situation.

Even in my doubts, I held onto the hope that somehow, this step would lead me closer to stability. Navigating the housing market while going deeper into debt felt hopeless. Even though Atlanta’s housing market was a rare buyer’s market, offering once-in-a-lifetime opportunities, I couldn’t shake the feeling that I was chasing something unattainable. Despite my financial challenges, I couldn’t ignore the potential benefits of homeownership, though it felt overwhelming. Unknowingly, this decision to buy a home at that time would turn out to be one of the best financial moves of my life.

At my lowest, I even lost my realtor, who deemed my approval amount unworthy of her time. I felt utterly defeated. In my mind, the enemy had won.

When God Steps In

Then, months later, God undeniably intervened. A loan officer I had spoken to months prior unexpectedly reached out to me. I explained my situation, convinced he wouldn’t be able to help. But to my surprise, he reviewed my finances and reassured me, "Your debt-to-income ratio is high, but with your exceptional credit history, the bank is willing to take the risk."

His words were a beacon of hope. He referred me to a skilled realtor who, within months, helped me secure my first home. It was a short sale—a bittersweet transaction for the previous owner, who was forced to sell due to divorce. At closing, he shared his story with me, expressing sadness over the home’s less-than-pristine condition but also pride in one thing he had been able to maintain: the flowerbed he had carefully nurtured. He spoke of it with a sense of accomplishment, assuring me it was still a great property. He wasn’t wrong.

The process was fraught with delays, miscommunications, and stress, but it ultimately worked in my favor, securing better loan terms than initially agreed upon. Even as I faced mounting financial and emotional struggles, I began to see glimpses of God’s hand at work. It wasn’t always clear at the time, but in hindsight, I see how He was guiding me through it all.

When Tulips Bloom

Moving into my home depleted my savings, leaving me reliant on credit cards to keep the lights on. Surrounded by remnants of my old life, I sank into depression. Even though I was working from home, some days felt impossible to get through. Yet, even then, God was moving in ways I couldn’t yet see.

Therapy became my lifeline, offering clarity and strength during this difficult season. At first, my counselor’s questions seemed irrelevant, but gradually, they began to shift my perspective, opening the door to hope. She encouraged me to look beyond my current circumstances and envision a brighter future.

By the time spring 2011 arrived, the flowerbed outside my home mirrored my life—overgrown, neglected, and chaotic. I remembered how the previous owner had spoken with pride about nurturing it, even as other parts of the home had begun to deteriorate.

One day, after an intense therapy session, I stopped to check my mailbox and noticed something in the flowerbed near my front door. Amid the weeds and dead vegetation, vibrant pink and lavender tulips had bloomed.

In that moment, like a lightbulb, something clicked, and hope washed over me. Those tulips were a divine reminder that seasons change. Beneath the chaos and mess, good roots remained, waiting to blossom.

 A Lesson in Faith

The tulips were a tangible sign of His promise—that peace and renewal were possible, even in the midst of uncertainty.

That moment became a turning point. I committed to cleaning up my life, one step at a time. To combat depression, I started a new hobby and filled idle time with things I enjoyed like cooking and exploring new recipes. It was during this season that I discovered my passion for makeup artistry. Even though I didn’t have extra money, I found things outside my home—free festivals, children’s exhibits at the local library, afternoon walks—and began to make decisions for my future.

I decided to move back to my home state of Louisiana to reestablish myself in a place where my roots were, surrounded by my support system. God orchestrated the rest, giving me reassurance for the first time that I was on the right path—even if I wasn’t yet clear on where it would lead.

It was the beginning of a domino effect of sound, foundational choices that redirected my life in ways I never imagined—better than I had ever prayed for.

Trust in the Journey

In seasons of chaos, when you feel abandoned or punished, understand: God is always with you. Even in your darkest moments, He is guiding you toward transformation. Trust His plan, no matter how uncertain the journey feels. With faith as small as a mustard seed, your life can bloom into something extraordinary—just like those tulips that spring.